Indian lady at Detroit airport

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Why me? I love Indian people, but you were trying my post-flight patience; demanding change, following me around, asking me questions I couldn’t answer. I had to just tell you to get the hell away from me.

Sally

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No surprise that someone who’s both a comedienne and an English teacher would be one of my best friends. I wish you weren’t so far away; visiting you reminded me how much I miss having you around.

David from Kentucky

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Under different circumstances, I’d enjoy snuggling up with a big Southern beefcake. But we were on an 11-hour flight, I was exhausted and cranky, and you were totally invading my personal space. Still…I wonder if you’re single.

Shopkeeper lady in Ueno

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I’m not sorry for trying on the visor, and I'm not sorry I pissed you off, but I am sorry that Sally didn’t get a photo of you swatting me and chasing me out of your shop.

Don

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Please don’t be insulted by my “great guy to take me all over the world” comment. I didn’t mean to trivialize your Japanese life experience, but I realized afterwards that it might have come off that way.

Risa

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I’m glad you were visiting next door. It made for a nice, even-numbered group, and your translations were certainly appreciated. You’re pretty interesting, and I just wish we’d hung out more. I wanted to know about Oman.

Foreigner at Hiroshima Museum

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You did realize that we were in a museum, right? Maybe they do it differently where you’re from, but I’m pretty sure it’s universally expected that you’re not supposed to let your kid run around smacking exhibits.

Peter

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Your coworkers, colleagues, and even perfect strangers make fun of you. They do it in part because they’re insulted that you honestly think you’re fooling them, but really, you’re only fooling yourself - and maybe your clueless “girlfriend.”

Flight Attendant Cheryl

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Thank you for being so sympathetic and pulling strings to move my seat. I don’t even want to imagine how having to climb over that drunk, crotchety old prick every hour for 13 hours would’ve gone over.

RM

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With your older, wealthy husband, your well-mannered children, your BMW sport utility, and your house in “Old” Williamsville, you sure are the picture of upstanding citizenship, aren’t you? I laugh because I knew you twenty years ago.

Tracy W.

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Why did we fight that time? We didn’t even hate each other. It was all for some stupid girl alliance. And my dad was pissed – not that I’d gotten into a fight, but that I didn’t win.

Jenny R.

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When we were little, your face was always dirty. You sounded like Peppermint Patty and smelled like poverty. Last time I saw you, we were 19, and you were living with some older guy in South Buffalo.

Maura D.

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I wasn’t very popular to begin with, but when I transferred after fifth grade, you were waiting and ready to pounce. You made my life hell for three years, but then you went to Mount Mercy. Hahaha.

Clark

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I want to like you, but conversations are difficult because you don’t seem to know much about anything. For example, you’re a musician, yet you’d never even heard of Mohawk Place?! Do you live in a cave?

Bev

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It’s been a couple years now since the email mishap. I think I subconsciously stay away because I still feel a twinge of embarrassment about it. I will not, however, admit to being wrong in my opinion.

Aimee

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It’s hard when you know something about someone and share a common denominator, but can’t mention it - particularly when it involves a mutual acquaintance. I can’t go there, so I just smile when I see you.

Off to the Land of the Rising Sun...

Hey folks!
In just a few hours I'll be heading to the airport for my trip to Japan! I've been up all night in an attempt to thwart jet lag and to help me sleep on the *gulp* 13-hour flight. Oh, and in true Deedee fashion, I'm still packing, too. I hope I make some semblance of sense.

I won't have a whole lot of access to my email while I'm there, but fear not - there will be x365 entries nonetheless. Blogger has a great feature that lets you schedule posts out as far as you want, so I've written a few to cover at least the next few days while I settle in, and then will post as often as I'm able to while I'm away.

Just a couple of updates while I'm posting a non-x365 entry...

The book I've been illustrating for the last few months (we ended up pushing the deadline waaaaay out because of my various roadblocks like malfunctioning lungs and demolished car) is finally, finally done and, barring any major revisions, is being assembled in the very near future. (See below for the cover illustration - the layout and colors may change, but the illustration will remain the same). It should be available for purchase sometime in September...oooooh....just in time for early Christmas shopping! More details as they become available. And yes, of course I'll autograph your copy. ;-)

My doctor gave me a clean bill of health today - well, as clean as it's gonna be under the current circumstances. I put on a lot of weight in a short amount of time recently, thanks to Prednisone, which is like the anti-Christ of medications. I can't believe they haven't come up with anything better by now. Anyway, after swelling up like a balloon for several weeks and then spending a few hours in the ER last week (and a few hundred dollars, I'm sure), and having been given every possible test on the planet, there's nothing wrong with me. Well, aside from the obvious, of course. Dr. O was concerned that my heart might be failing, since the edema has typically been accompanied by chest pains and shortness of breath, but apparently it's all tied in with my weight and my asthma. But I'm not dying. So that's good.

I've decided to drop down to part time in school after this next semester. I was supposed to graduate next spring, but I'm finding it more and more difficult to juggle several upper-level classes and a paying job along with freelance projects. Plus, the loan money is running out, haha. Oh well. At least now I have more time to study for the GRE.

Okay, well...that'll do it for now. Gotta get back to packing. If anyone's dying for something in particular from Japan, email me and let me know!

Love,
D2

Lisa at TJ Maxx

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You know, the Gryffindor track jacket, argyle socks, silly haircut, and funky shoes would’ve been cute if you’d had the personality to go with them. Alas, you were a bitch, so the outfit didn’t work at all.

Cheryl W.

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He kept calling you his “fiancée,” so naturally I was curious as to when you two were getting married. I laughed so hard when you rolled your eyes and said, “never.” Like I said…my kind of people.

John M.

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I don’t know why. I don’t know you. And yet…I feel like we should be friends. I think it’s probably the “we’d rather have dogs than kids” thing, but I definitely think you’re my kind of people.

Vanessa

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Your roommate was icky, and mine was in a coma, so you moved in with me. What a weird combo, the hippie and the pink-haired punk. But we got along, even though your townie boyfriend annoyed me.

Jennifer

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We spent that whole summer planning our dorm room. I couldn’t wait to meet you, my first college roommate. But you never came. They eventually told me you’d wrapped yourself around a pole a few days before.

Jon H.

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For three days I thought you were among the dead. When I heard your voice on the other end, I cried buckets of relief. Weird how we lost touch after that. I think I’ll look you up.

Jeff Barone

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I was glad you came along, because with your plaid pants, thick glasses, and greasy hair, you took the dork spotlight off me for a while. At least I didn’t walk around going “Hoyahoyahoya” all the time.

Brian English

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Sorry, I’d spent years as the odd one out, and it had to be someone else’s turn for a while. And for what it’s worth, it didn’t help my cause at all. I was still a loser.

Miss Sinnott

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I didn’t mean any disrespect when I sang the Solo Meal commercial jingle at you that time. I was six. I thought it was funny. You made my first grade a living hell, and I hated you.

Roger

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I really enjoy the Gay Men’s Chorus concerts; I just wish tickets didn’t cost so much money. I mean, really, $20 is pretty steep. We should work something out in trade. Do you brew coffee at home?

Sherry

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I was really surprised when I first realized who you were, but it’s heartening to know that even the skinniest of us have succumbed to time and gravity. Granted, you had a baby, but still…I feel better.

Kyle

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You’ve told me about experiences that would have made anyone angry and bitter, but you’re like the nicest person ever. You’re one of those people that elicits a genuine, involuntary smile from me because you’re so positive.

Super High Meth Lady

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You had four teeth in your entire mouth, and your voice sounded like an old man’s. That was scary enough, but then you took off your sunglasses…holy shit, I’m going to have nightmares about you for weeks.

Detoxing Bible Lady

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You just sort of came out of nowhere, and now you’re a daily fixture. Usually you just sit quietly, reading and drinking water, but occasionally you’ll ask a question or – like today - comment on my sandwich.