Sirius-ly amusing (warning: explicit)

I have Sirius/XM satellite radio in my car. I usually only listen when I'm on long drives or am bored with the selection of CDs in the car, but when I do listen I'm a little overwhelmed by all the choices. Not unlike satellite television, it's essentially 300 stations with nothing on.

Tonight, though, as I was scrolling through while stuck in Boulevard traffic among the other last-minute Halloween shoppers, I stopped when I thought I heard the woman say "Pyrex glass dildo."

Now, I don't have the best hearing in the world, so I thought, "no, that can't be right. She probably said, "Fine, let's ask Bill, though." Or something. I mean, with my hearing (or lack thereof), it's entirely possible I'd heard it wrong. So I backed up and continued listening. I hadn't heard incorrectly. It was the "OutQ" station, the LGBT channel, and it was some sort of sex show. So of course I had to listen.

In my younger days, I used to listen to Dr. Ruth, huddled in my room with the radio under my pillow, or with the earphone in my ear (does anyone remember those primitive "ear bud" style mono earphones?) lest my parents hear what I was up to. Much of what I learned about sex I learned from Dr. Westheimer, in fact, and I can still remember as a young woman fumbling around with my boyfriend and thinking, "Oh, I remember this from Dr. Ruth!" But really the point I'm trying to make here is that I'm morbidly curious when it comes to other people's sex lives. Not people I know, though, so please don't tell me about yours, thanks.

So I'm listening to this show, and the hosts (two women) are casually and matter-of-factly dishing out advice to gay, lesbian, and straight callers alike, and not mincing words or hesitating to toss out slang in the process. They discussed proper sanitation techniques for toys (don't put latex in the dishwasher, folks - it's porous and will degrade quickly), positions when one is partially incapacitated with a broken limb (draw your own picture on that one), and demographics of their listeners (3:1 male to female - big surprise, heh). Then I listened intently as one woman explained the mechanics and logistics of the cock ring to a gay man whose partner was having, you know, issues. Man, this was WAY better than Dr. Ruth. But of course after a while my attention started to waver, so I decided to make my way up the dial.

Imagine my amusement when I discovered the very next station up was Radio Disney. Ha! From cock rings to the Jonas Brothers. Awesome. The next channel up from Disney...KidsPlace! Even funnier! But just when I thought it couldn't get any more hysterical, I clicked on to the next channel and it was...

The Catholic Channel.

Heeeee!

It was a good thing I'd gone to the bathroom at Target, because I think I would have wet myself. Man, irony rules.